Reality verses Fiction

Since I am writing a blog, can I call myself an author?  Does that mean I can write myself as a thin, active, fashionable mama who is a fantastic dresser, terribly organized, and the world’s best cleaner?  I didn’t think writing it would make it real!

To be honest, I have always struggled with my weight.  I have had several successful attempts at losing weight but don’t always have the desire, or motivation to maintaining the lifestyle that I mentally want.  I worked very hard while my husband was deployed and I lost 35 pounds using Weight Watchers and completed a SuperSprint Triathlon (REALLY short one but I still did it!).  I wasn’t the ideal weight based on all the scales and charts but I was pretty happy with myself.  I even went on a bike ride with my husband where his heart rate was elevated because of MY pace!  Shortly after his return, I found out I was pregnant.  During the pregnancy I tried hard to work out (Lindsay Brin Prenatal workout was my friend), did the Coronado Bay Bridge Walk, and we continued to go on weekly hikes until close to the end of the pregnancy.  And we stopped the hikes more because of the move than my giant belly!  I tried to continue to eat healthy and not listen when people said, “Have another one because you’re eating for two!”  I stressed A LOT about gaining too much weight, which of course means, I gained too much weight.  I eventually gave in to the eating for two and the chocolate cravings.  I still worked out some (I did a 5K three days before my due date!!) but not enough to keep up with the food intake.  And I had a big baby. 

So I was not upset about being the heaviest I have ever been when I left the hospital.  I set my goal to lose the first part of the baby weight by the end of the year, which I failed to come close to achieving L. I was told that with nursing, it just melts away.   That may be the case for people who are skinny to begin with but nothing was melting away with my nursing.  And my chest is larger than I ever imagined, so even though my arms are not fatter I have to wear XL shirts to fit my boobs-and buttons are not a good look for me.  My jackets don’t zip over the large baby feeders either.  I waited my 6 weeks until I had doctor’s approval to work out (asking your brother at thanksgiving dinner counts as doctor's approval right) but I started doing what I could.  I can’t run or do jumping jacks.  But I can walk and do other aerobic activities.  I have my Lindsay Brin Postnatal Boot Camp and 60 Day Slim that I do periodically.  And I am thinking about what I am eating.  I am trying to not overeat and to still get fruits and vegetables.  BUT-nothing is working! 

Naturally there is a lot of walking in the different tourist areas.  As we walked up the stairs in the train station, I struggled and got very down on myself.  I get winded or I am the slowest person in the group and I hate that feeling.  I want to be skinny and fit and have no trouble carrying a case of water up three flights of stairs.  I want to be the type of person who wants to go work out and spend spare time working out.  In reality, I would rather use some of the time the baby is sleeping to read, sleep, occasionally straighten up the hotel, or hang out with the dog and husband.  So I had to admit to myself that something has to change in order to get this excess baby weight off.  I mean I live in Italy and I have to enjoy the Italian fashion, right?  I need to be comfortable with my size so that I can buy nice clothes and get to be the fashionable mama that is my fictional character. 

SO I rejoined Weight Watchers.  I am doing the online program because there are no local meetings…I can’t imagine why! I am working out and trying to get my life on some kind of schedule (although failing miserably with the holidays and housing stuff).  But let me tell you right now, dieting in Italy is going to be TOUGH.  I have a fantastic husband who is super supportive and willing to eat the healthier options with me.  BUT, how do you resist the caprese salad or delicious pastas or delicious breads?  And how do you cook healthy meals when you have a hotel kitchen and very limited options in the grocery store?  When we were discussing if I would do it again, I told Matt I couldn’t do it because they didn’t have things like ground turkey or turkey sausage in the commissary (Navy Grocery Store) and I didn’t think I would find it in town if I ever learned how to say it!  But I am happy to say that I have since found the ground turkey and sausage hidden in the frozen breakfast section.  I am also proud to say, that we went out to lunch and dinner since I signed up and I was successful.  It is hard and I want to eat all the delicious pizza (especially since I can read and understand what is in the pizza).  Being on a diet in Italy is going to be tough but I moved to a foreign country with a newborn, I can handle it!

This is going to count as my before picture.